Plan Your Speeches, Save Your Dance Floor
By DJ Nate Burgoyne
Speeches are some of the sweetest moments of a wedding. Your best friend tells the story of how you met, a parent says something that makes the whole room tear up, and everyone raises a glass together. I love that part of the night.
Most couples don’t ask me to open the mic so anyone can speak. If anything, they tell me the opposite: they only want the people named on the timeline giving toasts, and that’s exactly what we do.
If you’ve been wondering about open-mic speeches though, here’s what I’ve seen, why it matters more on Oʻahu because of the 10pm music cutoff, and how to get great speeches without cutting into your dance floor.
Why I steer couples away from open-mic speeches
Want an open mic at your reception? Usually a bad idea.
When couples ask for my opinion, I discourage it for two reasons.
The first is that sometimes nobody goes up. You open the mic, the room goes quiet, and everyone looks around waiting for someone else. That’s super awkward, and we’ve seen it happen.
The second is the opposite problem. Someone does go up, they’ve had a few drinks, and they talk for 20 minutes. That’s super awkward too — for the couple, for the guests, and for the speaker.
Planned toasts avoid both of those. You know who’s speaking, your speakers know they’re on, and the room gets the heartfelt moments without the guesswork.
It’s still your wedding. If you really want an open mic, we’ll do it. My job is to tell you what I’ve seen so you can decide with the full picture.
Make every minute count till 10
Here in Hawaiʻi, outdoor music has a legal cutoff at 10:00pm, and it’s a hard one. You can’t go a minute over, and venues get upset if you try. I time the night to the second, so when 10:00 arrives, the music is off. There’s no one more song.
Indoor spaces where the sound can reach guest rooms usually follow the same 10:00 cutoff, and sometimes music can only continue past 10 at background levels. Some ballrooms with no guest rooms above, beside, or below may let you go later, so it’s always worth asking your venue. If you want the full picture on the cutoff, I wrote a whole post on how to dance all night when Oʻahu cuts music at 10pm.
That’s why speeches deserve a little planning here. Your dance floor has a fixed end time, so every minute of the reception counts. When toasts run on without a plan, those minutes come straight out of the dancing you’ve been looking forward to, and there’s no extending the night to make them back up.
Where speeches fit in your reception
It helps to see how much happens before open dancing even starts. A typical wedding of ours runs in this order. After the ceremony comes cocktail hour, then your grand entrance and first dance. Next, the two of you give a brief thank-you speech, and then everyone sits down for dinner. Toasts and speeches come after dinner, followed by the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance. Then come the bouquet toss, the garter toss, and the cake cutting, and an all-couples dance leads right into open dancing.
That’s a lot of sweet moments, and every one of them lands before the dance floor opens up for everyone. When the toasts stay on plan, all the moments after them stay on time too.
How I run the toasts as your MC
When I’m your MC, I introduce each planned speaker by name before they come up. I also make it very clear how many toasts there will be and when the last one is coming.
Say you’ve planned three toasts and you don’t want any more. At the start, I’ll let everyone know that there are three toasts being shared this evening, and then I’ll introduce the first speaker. Your guests know what to expect from the first word, and your speakers know exactly when they’re up.
When the last toast ends, I ask everyone to give a round of applause for all the toasts that were shared. That closes the moment warmly, and it doesn’t leave space for someone to stand up and jump in with an unplanned toast. Nobody gets turned away, because the moment wraps up and the night moves on.
Who decides when a speech is done
I don’t cut speakers off. That’s your call as the couple.
If someone goes long, I feel that’s the responsibility of the couple, the best man, the maid of honor, or whoever you’ve assigned to handle it. These are your family members and your friends, and how you handle them is up to you. My job on the mic is to keep things natural, friendly, and upbeat, and to treat everyone in the room like the adults they are. I’m not there to babysit your guests or play the bad guy in front of them.
You can sort that out calmly before the wedding day — not in the middle of dinner with a mic in someone’s hand.
Plan your speakers ahead
You already know who in your circle loves the microphone. You know these people far better than I ever will, so you’re the best person to have a friendly conversation with them before the big day, or to ask your best man or maid of honor to keep an eye on things.
When you plan your speeches ahead, nobody has to be cut off in front of everyone, and nobody feels put on the spot. Your speakers know what to expect, your guests get heartfelt toasts, and the night keeps moving toward the part where everyone gets up and dances.
Protect the end of the night
The last stretch of your reception is where the party really peaks. I read the room all night, and about 30 minutes before the end, I start planning the energy so we build toward a hype finish right at 10:00.
Some couples also love the idea of a private last dance, where guest music ends a little early, the room clears out, and the two of you share one slow song alone before the cutoff. That’s a beautiful way to end the night, and it needs those final minutes to stay protected.
When your speeches are planned and on time, all of this falls into place. Your toasts land, your dance floor gets its full time, and the end of your night feels exactly the way you pictured it.
Chat with the Frobaby Productions DJ team
If you’re planning your reception and want speeches that shine without eating into your dance floor, the Frobaby Productions DJ team would love to hear about your plans. We’re super transparent about our pricing, and you can see all of our packages at pricing.frobabyproductions.com. If you’d like to talk it through, grab a zero-pressure, ask-me-anything chat with the Frobaby Productions DJ team at chat.frobabyproductions.com.
Should we have open-mic speeches at our Oʻahu wedding reception?
I usually discourage it. Sometimes nobody goes up, and sometimes one guest talks for 20 minutes, and both are awkward. It is your wedding, though, so if you insist, we will do it.
Will the DJ cut off a long wedding speech?
No. That is the couple’s call. If someone goes long, it is up to the couple, the best man, the maid of honor, or whoever has been assigned to handle it.
Does the MC introduce the people giving toasts?
Yes. I introduce each planned speaker by name and let guests know how many toasts there will be, so everyone knows what to expect.
How do you keep extra guests from jumping in with a toast?
I make it clear when the last toast is coming. When it ends, I ask everyone to applaud all the toasts, and the night moves on without a gap for interruptions.
When do toasts happen at a typical reception?
Usually after dinner, before the parent dances, bouquet and garter toss, cake cutting, and the all-couples dance that leads into open dancing.
How do we keep wedding speeches from running long?
Have a friendly conversation with your speakers before the big day, or ask your best man or maid of honor to keep an eye on things.
Why do speeches matter more for a Hawaiʻi wedding timeline?
Outdoor music on Oʻahu has to stop at 10pm, with no extra songs. Every minute spent on extra toasts is a minute you can’t get back for dancing.